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Azurry's journal

January, 20, 2025

I want to start this on a postive note. So, at first, Bluesky was really fun. I was really enjoying being on there a lot. I loved connecting with people, chatting, and just sharing interests with likeminded people. It started going downhill for me a bit after I wrote my last journal here back in November. I first noticed trolls joining and liking my posts if I mentioned any Kiwifarms, lolcow or any of the sort. Honestly, I really don't care for them. They're known for being trash. It's such a waste of money to make a site based on hate. I'll never understand it. I'm here to have fun and a good time. I want to keep it that way.

For awhile, I just ignored them up until I got three mentions that I thought was someone pretending to be an ex-friend because instead of using their main account, they used a throwaway account instead. I've dealt with harassment and stalking before so I knew they like to go through all the stuff available online. They'll stop at nothing to get their grubby little hands on anything. Thankfully, I'm a pretty private person online. I didn't think much of it until a month later, I realized it was actually the ex-friend that was doing the trolling and stalking. I had no idea since I haven't spoke to him in years... I thought that he moved on and have gotten better, but he sadly has gotten worse over the years. I can see that he is obessessed with some other exfriend of theirs besides me, so for my own safety and that other girl he was bothering, I think it was for the best to make a report at this point.

It was really bothering me, so in the beginning of January, I ended up making a journal about it after talking to some friends about the whole thing. It's an artist beware Journal on Deviantart that y'all can read here for now.Unforunate situation I'll eventually back this up on my website as well. I'll never let someone think I'm their tool to play with ever again. After all this stress and also dealing with the harassment from far-right trolls, and people trying to look cute, but aren't. I'm so done with these jerks. I'm not gonna give them the time of day anymore. People aren't tools. Being different doesn't give someone the entitlement to attack other people.

These people are obviously miserable and they're trying to make me feel bad as well. I felt like I hated these people, but I'm realizing I'm giving them what they want so it's best to be neutral that way they can't have power over me. It really reminds me of a toxic landlord in my old house. He had such a power trip and I think I still have trauma from it that needs healing. I had to take a long hiatus off of Bluesky and start working on my own website instead because this whole thing is a mess and I'm tired of dealing with people that are awful. I was so tired of seeing websites being twisted in some shape or form. It was exhausting.

All I wanted was for people to be treated like equals. We all bleed red. It's so sad and dumb that there's so much hate. I also realized I wasn't myself and was getting more upset than I usually would. I ended up getting into more drama because of it, and I'll talk about some issues about being misunderstood in my next journal. I feel that if I didn't get so heated, I wouldn't have had these issues so I think it's important to step away from online when I'm upset and lately I haven't been in anymore drama since. That being said, I've been disconnected from friends and family for a while now so it can feel isolating. Forunatelly, I feel like I'm slowly reconnecting with everyone.

The stuff on Bluesky that was getting sent to me was heartbreaking. It was already hard enough. I realized I started getting depressed. Anyway, I've been taking steps that I needed to feel better about the overall online space and be safe. If y'all made it this far, thank you so much for reading. I finally added comments here. It's a work in progress, but so far so good. I'm just having a good time here and I'm excited to continue working on my website. It's been pretty heartwarming expressing myself here. It really helps the healing process. <3